This CanNOT be Happening
by MarkOfAlitheia
Summary: What if you met your childhood hero? What would you do? Scream? Faint? Bear-hug him? Beat him senseless with a cricket bat? So far, Shari was leaning toward the latter. Unfortunately, she needed him to be conscious when he saved her life. And visa-versa.


Me: Hey there peoplez! Dis is zeh author speaking! Sooooooo sorry for not updating for long! I blame viruses and Jake who insisted on _dismantling_ the _entire_ computer, claiming that he could fix it.(glares pointedly at echidna)

Jake: I could've if you'd given me a chance!

Me: Are you kidding! It took you one-fourth of that time to build me a new one! And poor Jason's been your enthusiastic helper for months trying to fix it! Look at him!

Jake: (glances at a snoozing 7-year-old hedgehog draped over the couch like a rag doll)

Me: (gently shakes hedgehog's shoulder) Jaaaasoooon?

Jason: ZZZzzzZZZ *snort* huh…wha…?

Me; (points to the screen)

Jason: Oh…right. ZehHyperactiveAuthor doesn't own Sonic n' co. *yawn* zzzZZZzzzZZ

Me: Poor thing…Anywho, Enjoy!

 _ **What If You Met Your Childhood Hero…**_

 _ **Chapter 1**_

"No! No! No! NO!" Shari Anderson typed furiously at the computer which was in the process of freezing/shutting down for the sixth time. The screen started getting fuzzy and hazy lines were appearing on it. She sighed. _Guess I'll have to fix the darn thing…again._ She walked across her cluttered room and dug out a tool kit from under a pile of electric gizmos and PC manuals.

Some people would call her smart.

Some called her a geek or a computer nerd.

Some just shook their head and mumbled "Well I'll be darned…" or "I take it back… _now_ I've seen everything."

14-year-old Shari was a computer wiz. She was an "expert on technology" despite her age. No. Not just an expert. A _genius_. In her early teens, she could figure out things that the world's greatest scientists were still puzzling over. Of course, she kept this part secret, making sure it looked like she had the knowledge of someone who worked in a computer repair shop. Which she did.

But now she was at home, working on a new type of computer. A computer that worked faster. A computer that could connect to the internet anywhere on the planet. A computer that, as of now, was on the verge of exploding.

Shari pried off the side panel, calculative brown eyes scanning at the jumble of wires that made up the main hard drive. _What the…?_ She nudged a bright blue wire with the tip of her screwdriver. She hadn't used any blue wires when building her computer…(she had used them all on her pathetic attempt at hover shoes)so what was _this_ doing here? Brushing a rebellious strand of black hair from her eyes, she fingered her necklace thoughtfully. Maybe she had had one left over and used it without noticing. She _did_ get pretty wrapped up in her work sometimes…(they say she wouldn't have noticed if her shirt was on fire)

 _Maybe this is what's causing all the problems._ She tried to disconnect the wire. It wouldn't budge. Discouraged, she then considered pulling it off. That's when she realized that it was connected to every other wire in her computer. There was no way to pull it off without tearing her computer apart from the inside out. And if the blue wire was the problem then…she growled in frustration. Her entire computer was incapable of working correctly from _one wire_? She'd have to start all over!

In her irritation, gave the computer a sharp kick. KACHUNK! _Woops._ She hadn't meant to kick it that hard. It sounded like she'd knocked something loose…

 **Whirrrrrrrrr…**

 _Huh?_ She looked up at the screen. A swirling white glow had appeared on the computer's monitor. _So, the computer lives…_ she mused. Then, that little booting-up-icon-thingy appeared on the screen. "It's _working_!" she cheered in amazement, doing a little dance around her room and nearly stepping on a partly-assembled I-Touch in the process. "Yahhoooooo! _I did it!_ It'sworkingIt'sworkingIt'sworkingIt's

work-!"

"Shari! It's your turn for dishes!" Shari froze. No. Never. Not in a million years. She was _way_ too busy changing history to worry about something as unoriginal as _dishes_! Maybe if she pretended she didn't hear…

"Dear diary…"

" _Hey_!" Shari thundered down the stairs of her two-story apartment with every intention of introducing her little brother's head to the wall. She nearly ran him over. Josh was leaning against said wall with a smirk in full force, brown eyes reading triumph. He wasn't even holding her diary!

"I _knew_ you were listening!" he stated smugly.

"Why you little-"

" _Shari…_ " Shari flinched at her father's warning tone. Fine. She would just kill him later. Rolling up her sleeves, she fixed the 10-year-old with a smoldering glare before turning her attention to the towering pile of pots, pans, plates, bowls, and tea bags. Furiously scrubbing a plate full of dried rice, she vaguely wondered if her family was the only one who usually threw their trash in the sink instead of the garbage can underneath it.

Fourteen plates, seven bowls, and a couple of pots and pans later, she was up the stairs. Throwing her bedroom door open(and having it come to a stop against a pile of clothes), she surveyed her room. There was barely and room to _walk_ , much less do another project!She would have to clear it. After all, a genius has to be well organized.

It took her a while, but she finally managed to get everything she wasn't working on stuffed inside her tiny broom closet. After a great deal of shoving, the door closed with a satisfying click. She heaved a heavy sigh of relief before turning around to admire her work. Shari blinked in confusion at her now-visible carpeted floor. She hadn't remembered it being blue…

Oh well. Shari glanced at clock. It was nearly six thirty. She still had a couple of hours. Walking over to her now empty desk, she set out her tool kit and clicked on her small, overhead lamp. Then, she walked over to her CD player and turned it on to her favorite song, _Cross That Line_ by Superchick.

 _Follow the leader; stay in the lines._

 _What will people think of what you've done this time?_

 _Go with the crowd. Surly somebody knows,_

 _Why we're all wearing the emperor's clothes._

 _Play it safe; play by the rules._

 _Or don't play at all. What if you lose?_

 _That's not the secret, but I know what is!_

 _Everybody dies, but not everyone lives!_

 _Everybody dies, but not everyone lives!_

 _I'm gonna rock like I've got the cops on my tale!_

 _I'm gonna live my life like I'm out on bale!_

 _I'm gonna be out front! Gonna blaze the trail!_

 _I'm gonna!_

 _I'm gonna!_

 _I'm gonna!_

 _I'm gonna cross that line!_

Two hours later, she leaned back to admire her new cell phone. It was silver with blue flames, her two favorite colors. She had momentarily considered giving it a touch screen and a voice dial system until she remembered what happened the last time she used it. With the touch screen, it kept calling someone named Kent while it was still in her pocket. With the voice activation, well, you all know what happens with those. You tell it to call your mother and it calls Shan Connery or Mel Gibson. It would usually take Shari a good fifteen minuets to finally call the right person (a.k.a., give up trying to talk to it and just dial in the number).

She glanced at her clock again. Eight thirty-two. She still had about an hour and a half before bed time. _Now, to test out the new computer!_ Taking the cloth off of it, she pressed the power button and prayed to God the infernal contraption would start. It did. _Oh, yeah!_ It only took a few seconds to completely boot up. _Well, it's certainly faster…Now, to test the internet system._ Shari clicked on Internet Explorer. Her home page didn't even have to load. Shari immediately went to her favorite site _,_ Fanfiction.

Shari had been a fan of the blue blur for as long as she could remember. Her parents had gotten a Sega Genesis when she was three years old and she used to play nearly all of the old-fashioned, 2-D Sonic games against her dad and her brother. A few years later, when she found out that the spiky blue pinball in the videogames actually had a story line, well, she was practically pinging off the walls with excitement. She hadn't gotten an account on fanfiction, she was never much of a writer, but she _loved_ reading the stories. Some of the stories there made you wonder why they had gotten an account in the first place, but most of them were pretty good.

Shari spent the next few minutes reading random fanfictions…that is, until her computer suddenly blacked out. _Dang it!_ Shari typed furiously, her fingers thundering on the keyboard, but it was no use. She was just about to give up when the screen suddenly turned white. Shari's eyes widened _. Oooookay…not exactly what I expected…_ Then, the computer started to make that whirring noise again, only this time it was louder. _Much_ louder. The computer was practically screaming at her, it's high pitch whine was nearly deafening. Shari covered her ears, crying out in pain. Her vision started to blur. She felt a hazy fog slowly begin to cloud up her mind. Through the inky blackness, Shari groggily gave one last disoriented glance at the computer.

A perfectly round mustached face smiled back at her.

Then darkness consumed her.

 **A/N:** **Hey everyone! What you see here is the original version of _This Isn't Happening_ , written over six years ago. I'm currently rewriting the entire tale, to make it easier to continue. Old chapters will appear here whenever I've fixed a new one. **

**You can find the edited version of this chapter in _This Isn't Happening_ , along with whatever I still haven't edited.**

 **As always, your feedback is appreciated. Until next time!**


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